Seven Signs You Need To Move Into A New Apartment

1. You're living in a borough besides Manhattan when rents are at an all time insanely-crazy-mind-blowing low

2. Your roommate has a serious significant other who spends more time sleeping, eating, and showering in your apartment than you do.

3. Your roommates are more commonly referred to as Mom and Dad

4. You want to stop getting updates from Postgrad's Facebook page which can only be accomplished by making Postgrad successful enough that they can stop being 7th grade girls and using Facebook to communicate everything.

5. You're so sick of your walk-up that you've just starting leaving a sleeping bag at the bottom of the stairs.

6. Your affair with the doorman did not end on good terms (he wasn't ready for commitment, same old, same old) and now you're stuck only entering and exiting the building when he's off his shift.

7. You've run out of bars for out-of-control drunkenness in the neighborhood.